Wishes

We went around in a circle - counterclockwise, not that it matters, but maybe one day it will. There was no hesitation. No blatantly avoiding eye contact and waiting to see who goes first. We took turns. By some unspoken agreement, we went round our three-person circle, in between bites of onion rings and brownies because really what else do you eat at a 24 hour diner on New Year's Day, and we made wishes.

I am a firm believer in the power of wishes. I cried for hours when I realized I'd forgotten to make a wish before blowing out the candles on my seventh ever birthday cake. Because there are only so many moments in this life when you take the time to stop, cross your fingers, and wish for something big. Only so many days that are special, circled on the calendar, glitter-and-gold enough to make you feel like anything is possible.

And the start of a new year has got to be one of them.

So there we were, 11pm, a basket of assorted fried foods already half eaten between the three of us. And we started to make wishes for the new year. Not resolutions, because those sound so negative and serious and like problems to be fixed rather than shooting stars to be blessed with a few magic words.

By the end of the night, our list included big things like honesty, health, understanding, confidence, and the biggest of them all: happiness.

The start of the new year has always felt like a big deal to me. I know it's just another day, that a date on the calendar doesn't make things happen, that wishes and wanting and dreaming are never the same as doing. But some nights, you just need a list of pretty words to keep you moving forward. And I want to move forward, into the days and weeks and months ahead. Into the blank space with nothing but a "2015" scribbled in the margins to be known for sure.

We went home, after tipping the waitress and turning the radio up for one last drive before I left town and we drifted our separate ways into the new year. We fogged up the window with our voices - voices that sound so familiar, sometimes we forget that every word we speak is a promise.

So here's me, curled up inside on a rainy day, wishing you big things for the new year. Wishing you all the wishes you can fit in your heart - birthday candles, eyelashes and shooting stars no longer needed.